Um, hi. This is a person. You may or may not have seen me, but I have definitely seen you. In fact, I'm writing your address down in my notebook as we speak. I have a copy of the key to your house and car. My photo album is full of things you have done, like lying in your bed or eating your breakfast. I hope to meet you soon!

Wait, I'm just kidding. Why would I do this?


Wait, there's more?